


( tell me ) where to land

by mrbrighteyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Basketball Player Liam, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2273358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbrighteyes/pseuds/mrbrighteyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's absolutely certain it'll never work, he'll just end up pining all his life and then he's just really confused by the end of the school year, because the impossible somehow turns out to be quite reachable. Feelings should just not exist, especially when they're directed at your best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	( tell me ) where to land

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gribbins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gribbins/gifts).



> Written for the lirry fic exchange, it was hard to get to it cause life but once I got to it, it was actually pretty fun. I haven't written any high school fics in ages though, note that Liam's most likely sixteen/seventeen and Harry's one year under that at least they're supposed to be around that age. There's no actual sex happening, just boys playing with each other if that makes sense, but if you're uncomfortable with that, this is a warning before you go into reading. 
> 
> Again, I'm most comfy with writing in Liam's pov and rambling on and on in it, there isn't a lot of school things happening in here, but hopefully this turned out the way you wanted it, sweets. beta-ed rather quickly, so any remaining mistakes are mine, feel free to point them out!
> 
> Here's the prompt: _Terrible high school coming of age movie lirry with liam and harry as childhood best friends with as much pining as could possibly be! bonus points if they are from like, different social spheres one being very popular and the other not._
> 
> p.s: I actually wrote kids!lirry as a small prologue to this but it couldn't fit in the storyline so it's just a small thing left on the side, maybe for later.

**i. in your mind,**

He’s not doing this. Niall can talk and laugh at him, Liam’s just not doing this. It was a bad idea from the start to let him in the known—actually he didn’t do that though, Louis was the one who did, Louis should fix this. Because this plan is not going to work, doesn’t matter if they give him a month or a week it just isn’t.

“No, no, this isn’t going to work.” He voices out already panicking when the plan’s set and Louis jolts up from the bed, holding his arms up and hands reaching for Liam’s shoulders.

“Stop thinking so much, it’s going to be perfect!”

Because to Louis any plans that involves courting, or wooing or getting two people together is just always going to be perfect. Because he’s the reason Zayn and Perrie are together, he thinks he’s become the god of matchmaking, or something like that. Liam’s just—well for Liam it’s more complex. He shouldn’t have asked for advices to begin with.

He’s the idiot here isn’t he?

“No, no Lou, Harry’s always with a girl, I’ve always only seen him with girls.” That isn’t going to just magically change because Liam has fancied him for years and somehow wants to do something about it. Which alright no, Liam’s not the one who wants to do something about this, Louis is the one who wants to do something about it.

Maybe Liam too. A little bit? More than a little bit. But it’s crazy, this can’t work. He’s friends with Harry, best friends even. If this doesn’t work, if this even so much as goes the wrong way, he might lose Harry as a friend as well and that’s not something he’s willing to put on the line.

That decides him immediately and he gives another firm shake of his head, looking at Louis with a look that clearly states this is not happening.

“Please?” He’s desperate enough to beg, that must tell a lot to Louis because he drops his hand and heaves out a sigh, shaking his head.

“I can’t force it on you, obviously, but I think you’re making a mistake.” But at least he’s retreating and grabbing his bag and walking out of Liam’s room. Even though, Liam would like to know it’ll end there, there’s just something about Louis giving up this easily that always has him on edge.

Like that time he wanted Liam to forget about Harry for one night and no matter how Liam told him he didn’t need to be pissed to have fun and made him promise to not get him drunk at all, Louis still ended up getting Liam pissed to the point that he had to go to school with one hell of a headache.

Liam shakes his head though, Niall’s voice reaching him with a pat on his shoulder. He almost forgot he was still there, of course, since he was in on the plan that just wasn’t happening.

Louis knows his limit, he shouldn’t worry about this, and this isn’t a party. This isn’t physical, it’s emotional and he shouldn’t doubt his friend that way.

“Can we go play now?” Niall’s words has him nodding shoulders slumping a little, he’s starting to regret not going with the idea for some sort of reason. He always backs off when it comes to letting Harry know how he feels though and there’s just this fear that rejection will ruin it all.

Harry’s accepted Liam as he is but that does not mean he will just return his feelings because what? They’re best friends, they’ve known each other since they were as tall as their four years could allow. If there’s a choice to be made, to either lose Harry other stupid feelings that can be lost or keep Harry over same stupid feelings that can be lost then he’s going to go with the second choice.

“Yeah, let’s do that.” He agrees and goes to get his own bag, uniform of the basketball team shoved inside before him and Niall are walking out of his room as well. It’ll help. Besides this is not something big. Even though it’s been there for ages, but he just happens to fancy Harry, there’s nothing to be planned. Liam doesn’t need to be with Harry, not at all.

###

Well actually, Liam needs to be with Harry. Just not the same way his heart wants to. So it’s a bit complicated but not really. Because things are easy the way they are right now, they’ve always been. From the moment he found Harry crying in his backyard during one of his first birthday parties in the new neighbourhood they just moved in.

To this moment right now. Harry waiting for him with a smile when Liam jogs up to let himself be pulled in a hug. There’s nothing complicated with Harry and Liam needs Harry in his life, the whole school knows that. It’s a relief too, that Harry feels the same way. At least not in the same way Liam feels, but he’ll take that over anything. 

Because at times there were doubts, years ago. But that was the past, despite that they stayed best friends. Liam could tell, from experiencing a life—an entire year could be described as life—away from Harry’s presence, that if he had to repeat it, he wouldn’t.

“Not done yet?” Harry’s speaking with his mouth against Liam’s throat before pulling back. The heat that quickly rushes to his face has him clearing his throat and quickly pulling back. Maybe a bit too quick, because Harry’s looking at him with a questioning look, but Liam should be giving him that look. It’s not unusual for Harry to wait for him after a practice, but only when Liam tells him to do so lately.

Fact is Liam hasn’t been telling Harry to come to practices ever since—well ever since it became a bit too obvious that he’s a bit too how does Louis say it—love struck?—on his best friend. He hasn’t distanced himself—at least he liked to think he didn’t. Harry hasn’t complained either and it’s been going for what a week or so and Harry’s here right now and Liam almost forgot that he has to text or call Harry before he shows up at practice.

So that, “What are you doing here?” Is his answer is totally normal. He’s also pulling more away from Harry’s warmth, it’s distracted, a bit too much to stay this close and he regrets it the moment he’s a few inches away but what’s done is done. So Liam settles for letting his hands on his hips, watching as Harry’s eyes widens just the slightest bit.

“You texted.”

“No, I d--,” Liam stops right in his tracks, at Harry’s eyebrows furrowing together and doesn’t need to look up where Louis is still doing practice with the team behind him to know exactly who texted Harry.

“I—hm, right, I forgot for a moment, practice’s been a bit hard.”

Harry’s eyebrows stop doing that thing that Liam does not like bringing to his face. As if he’s about to look displeased, Liam’s not keen on being on the receiving end of that, or the one that caused that. He kind of prefers when Harry smiles because of him, even if it’s the tiniest of smiles. Like this one right now he’s giving Liam the moment he clears the misunderstanding up.

“I’ll wait outside.” Harry says and Liam does get a hold of the hand Harry reaches out to him without a second thought. Because they’re just like that, constantly touching. Though Harry’s the one who got him used to this. From when he was small up to now, Harry’s always been much too affectionate with everyone. Though some people loved to tease Liam and tell him that Harry’s like this only with him.

He doesn’t buy it. Harry’s like this with everyone. But, there are some things that are his and only Liam’s and he’ll admit he feels pretty damn good about that.  Liam’s eyes stay on Harry’s retreating back, a bag where his board is swung right behind it and against his back before he turns to face his team and his eyes immediately glare towards Louis’ direction.

“What? Don’t look at me like I did something bad, all I do is for the sake of love.” Louis says before Liam can even utter a word. So he’s left standing there arms open and hands closing in on the ball when Louis throws it at him a grin on his face.

“Let’s end practice on a good note.”

Niall’s laughing behind and agreeing and Liam has to just let it go, because there isn’t just the three of them here. But he’ll be sure to let Louis know that this shouldn’t go further, this isn’t a game. It’s Liam’s freaking, stupid heart doing the biggest mistake in the history of all his mistakes and ended up liking his best friend. It isn’t about dribbling and getting a ball in the basket, it’s about not ruining the whole bond he has with Harry.

Even though he spends the rest of practice pretty giddy because he gets to go home with Harry. Maybe he’ll be less harsh on Louis.

###

Or maybe not. He’ll decide. Once he sees what happens, because it’s been days since he’s last seen Harry and it all seems as if it was yesterday and yet an eternity at the same time. A feeling that makes him a bit nervous and happy at the same time, weird combination that Liam brushes aside as he jogs his way to where Harry’s waiting for him.

Not without doing anything, but riding on that board that he’s up to this day pretty proud he can stand still on now. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing for Harry to learn, mostly because from the two of them Liam has the most balanced body, Harry’s just settling in his body. At times it seems as if he’ll fall if he bends too low or if he even as tries to jump over anything.

It was a good thing Liam thinks. That Harry chose to learn how to skate, because ever since he’s been more balanced and less prone to the usual clumsiness he carried around. It’s been a year or two, one of which Liam wasn’t around and Harry seemed to have learned new things. Because Liam’s the one who actually got him to first stand on a board without falling.

But the following year turned out busy, both for him and Harry and there was just no time to see each other. Throw in some girlfriend Harry had around the same time, him hanging out with his circle of friends where Liam just didn’t fit and still doesn’t fit and it just never worked. Last year was just avoidance, casual greeting when they met in the halls and nothing more.

Off, everything about it was off.

Liam doesn’t intend to interrupt, but as if Harry knows he’s there he’s already flipping around, and Liam has to wave a hand, has to wear a smile because he’s just that glad that despite it all, despite the distance and how them being in such different social classes this turned out and always turns out for the better, it just makes him grateful.

For what he has.

“You learned something new.” Then he has to bring that up, the time they never speak of, surprisingly. As if it is a sort of silent agreement that they shouldn’t talk about it. The reason why they drifted away, the reason why Liam stopped calling, Liam stopped asking for Harry to come over or vice versa. There was just this silent acceptation that it happened, for a reason, and it doesn’t need to be mentioned.

Liam’s happy with it. Because the reason would mean actually jumping head first in a topic he would rather much just—avoid all his life if possible.

So he’s gad, that Harry gives him one look over and a shrug without replying, realising, because Liam’s sure his face gives it away. That it’s still not a good time to talk about it. So he’s not even offended that Harry doesn’t reply or venture further on the topic, just falls in next to him and they start making their way down the street.

“Where’s your ride?”

“Don’t have one.” It’s Liam’s turn to shrug, he just didn’t think he needed one today. He has times when he does bring the car around, “Y’know I stopped asking Charlie to pick me up after I turned thirteen and it was just,” He gives an amused look at Harry who understands, was there when it happened.

“Not cool.” It’s said in unison, quotes mark with Liam’s fingers up and some laughter that comes from the memory of it. Harry’s tone still lingering through his laugh, because Harry’s words always linger a bit more with anything he says and it’s endearing, Liam likes how it gets lost with his own laugh.

Their pace falls into a slow walk, and they share words that at times the world can catch but not understand, at all because Liam and Harry have their own way of sharing stories. Much like when they were just five years old and barely a foot and more taller than each other and they’d agree on doing mischief, let one climb on  the other shoulder and get a hold of the candies that were in a box that Liam’s mum always thought she hid properly.

One always propelling the other higher, and when they were missing from each other life, they just stilled and waited.

 

###

“Mum’s been asking where you went, she wants you over.” Liam immediately suggests when they near Harry’s house, his neighbourhood being closer to school than Liam’s is. Which is also why it was hard to reason his mother and why he loved walking. Though it became easier once Liam told her he always walked home with Harry. She loves Harry as much as she does Liam after all, maybe even a bit more, he complained about it before, but with time it just became as if it was normal.

Much as Harry’s mother also loves Liam the same. Much as if they were just one family. Where Harry’s sister feels like Liam’s and both of their families despite their different social status manage to be the closest friends, beyond what blood could bring.

So it hasn’t just taken a toll on Liam that Harry’s been missing from his life for close to a week because he’s been avoiding him, his mum too, has been asking. He understands her, though he feels guilty to be using her to let Harry know that it’s alright. He hopes as well, squirming and waiting for Harry to answer, that Harry will catch on and agree.

He does, “I miss her too.” Harry adds, with a grin that doesn’t quite stretch over his teeth.

Liam rolls his eyes, but knows he’s glad Harry’s steps follows suit with his again.

“Don’t be jealous now, missed you too.” Harry’s laughing a little, his arm’s slinging around Liam’s shoulders and giving it a light squeeze. Liam doesn’t need reassurance, he’s the last one that ever asks for it around Harry or anyone else. But Harry always makes sure to do so, reassure him, make sure Liam knows when things are serious or not, always make sure that Liam’s alright with whatever they do.

Harry’s the only one who ever reassures Liam that things are alright, that he’s not being forgotten, that he’ll never be left on the side. It’s one of the thing that Liam appreciates the most, because he’s the one who has to do that to most of the people he knows. When his mother had to get remarried, despite him being just four, he still was the one who told her that her new husband was great and Liam loved him and she’d be happy.

He doesn’t remember it, of course he doesn't he was just four. But she often mentions it. At least she used to when she still could tuck him to bed, stroking his hair and reading him a story, leaving a kiss on his cheek and sipping out of his room once she thought he was asleep. He was, at times, other times he was faking it and just waiting for her to slip out so he’d pull the laptop under his bed and start a chatting session with Harry.

The memory makes him laugh a little, it’s always a wonder how Harry manages to make things a bit lighter, as if he knows what Liam needs. But he appreciates it, Liam likes showing when he appreciates things. When he’s grateful, and that is the only reason why he leans into Harry’s hold, the only reason. Not because he’s missed this, in a way that is different from the way Harry did. Not at all.

“Sure, missed making fun of my grades.”

“Which are, hopefully not as awful as they were before I stepped in.”

Harry lets go along the way, as Liam is starting to get used to it. He sneaks a glance at Harry and his eyes fall on his side profile, the quick show of his tongue licking at his bottom lip and Liam forces himself to look away, cheeks warming up as he clears his throat and tries to find his words. He’s not sure for a second what they were talking about, then it slips past his distracted mind and even his tone sounds a bit distracted. Still he holds onto it.

“Not really, you’re a good teacher, it stuck right in.”

There’s a silence that welcomes that, Liam doesn’t mind, it’s never been uncomfortable. Sometimes Harry falls into his mind, stays there and loses focus. It’s just easy to let him slip back in when he wants. They’re in Liam’s neighbourhood though, close to Harry’s. The way it’s built, they used to jest that it was made on purpose, so that the rich could look at the poor and maybe make fun of them, belittle them.

It could have been a possibility, Liam doesn’t like to think about it that way. Harry does, sometimes, because Harry’s sense of humour tends to just be the weirdest at times. They get to Liam’s gates and he doesn’t need to let the guard know it’s him, they open soon as he eyes the camera placed on the side of the wall.

That’s when Harry breaks the silence, with a soft humming sound, like he’s been working something in his head. Liam knows he is. There’s the silent Harry who’s just silent because he doesn’t want to say anything and the silent Harry who’s not sure how or if he should even mention what he wants to say. Liam knows how both works, for one, the second one has Harry often furrowing his eyebrows, he wonders if Harry even knows about that.

“Thought Zayn was better at it.”

###

The remark doesn’t go anywhere after that. Not because Liam’s not dying to ask, mostly because of Harry’s tone and how he avoided talking about it the rest of the night. So Liam shrugs it off and decides to just enjoy it as it is. Because Liam’s mother is delighted to have Harry over after all this time and she pesters him with lots of questions that he answers with that way he has to make it seem as if it was not a big deal.

As if it was his fault, when it was Liam’s, which Liam’s grateful for.

So grateful that when his mother lets them be alone and Liam drags Harry upstairs, he’s got an extra of cupcakes in his hands, Harry’s favourite.

“Trying to bribe me.” Harry catches on immediately, falling on his bed and pulling his legs till they cross and accepting the plate without an ounce of hesitation.

“I am, no shame in that.” Liam’s laughing but also dropping next to Harry and letting himself fall on his back, arms stretching above his head. For a few seconds there’s just the sound of Harry humming around a mouthful of food. Then Liam feels this urge to fill it in with this one thing he thinks Harry should know about.

“I missed you too, this and everything.” It’s not an apology but Liam doesn’t want Harry to know that he avoided him on purpose. Then he’ll have to face Harry wanting to know but not asking’s treatment, and Liam’s not fond of that.

Harry doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even turn to give him a smile or anything at all, so Liam closes his eyes and then starts blabbering, because he wants to cover this, maybe it was a slip, maybe he should have kept it to himself, was it too much? The stream of his thoughts just translates vocally, “Also you might want to know that Zayn’s the worst teacher ever, he comes either high or too quiet, sits and doesn’t do anything until I show what I did, he’s even more of a distraction than you were when he isn’t quiet though, so I think I prefer when he’s quiet, at least I end up learning something.”

“He said it was fun.” Harry finally interrupts him and Liam’s grateful, serious is, so much that he almost lets out a heavy sigh except that he just does inwardly.

“It was, but it was different.”

Liam waits for another silence, it’s bothered with the shuffling sound of Harry falling by his side and looking up at the ceiling, his position mirroring Liam’s. That is when a thought dawns on him and as much as Liam doesn’t like to hope, or feel this, whatever it is called—thousands of flickering things that just run inside of his stomach, he does. He does and it’s so ridiculous that he has to laugh about it, eyes shutting close for a second and shoulders shaking.

“You can’t be jealous about this.” Harry just can’t be jealous about this.

Because Zayn’s just a friend, yes Liam and Zayn had a thing, a thing that ended pretty quickly when Zayn met Perrie, it was just about discovering the new boundaries Liam knew he had. Zayn offered and Liam, he just couldn’t say no he wanted to learn and know. Besides, Harry knows that Zayn and Liam are over and even if they weren’t, it still wouldn’t make sense. Harry and Liam are friends, the best kind; the kind that a relationship doesn’t break apart. Even if Zayn’s in Harry’s circle of friends and maybe Liam shouldn’t have stepped in that line.

Is it that, is it what’s still bothering Harry? They never talked about it, another thing that they just let slide because it’s easier and because Liam never thought it was a problem.

“I’m not.” Harry’s words are mumbled and Liam’s not sure if it’s disappointment or relief that he feels, but his mind’s telling him, see, see impossible? And he can’t do anything but agree.

There’s a bitter laugh ready to bubble its way out when Harry interrupts him.

“A bit.” What Harry adds is soft, so soft that if Liam had laughed it would have covered his voice. So he’s glad he didn’t, but he’s not so glad because it means his heart does this thing, skipping a beat over what this could mean. But Liam should not get his hopes up, he can’t. It’s not because Harry’s single now, well single in a way that he just is available for anyone who asks, Liam knows Harry can’t stay alone.

Being single for him just makes him more open to other people. Other people that are never going to be Liam. Down goes the feeling again.

“I mean, you’re avoiding me again, I know we don’t talk about this but, sometimes it’s like you’re the one who shuts down.” Harry fills the silence with what he knows and Liam can’t really deny it.  “Actually, you always shut down.” He adds and Liam, now Liam just doesn’t know what to say.

He’s usually always quick to deny things if there aren’t true, or justify himself when he knows he’s in the wrong, because he doesn’t like being in the wrong. But with Harry, he just doesn’t know how to work around that. There are so many things he wants to say but knows he shouldn’t say, he knows there’s a limit to how much he can let out. With Niall or Louis, it’s easy because they know why he puts limits and they push it and Liam just lashes out.

But Harry’s the reason why he has limits, so Liam can’t just blurt that out. That it’s because he might or might not be in love with Harry. Which when did this thing suddenly turned into that? It was a simple thing just a few days ago and now what, he’s thinking of it as love? He’s so screwed.

“Talk to me Li.”

Liam blinks his eyes open, not even sure of when he closed them. He turns to look at Harry who’s also been staring at him and he wants to blurt it all out right there and see what happens, just let it be. But then he thinks about the years Harry’s been there for him. The time when Harry kept silent after Liam blurted out a quick, _I think I like boys,_ afraid of what he might have thought and yet all Harry did was keep silent then just drew something on the piece of paper where he was correcting Liam’s homework.

The drawing turned out to be a penis and it was not funny after Liam laughed, because he realised he had to hand out that piece of paper.

Liam’s not going to risk it.

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t do that. Zayn’s a friend, a good friend, but trust me, no one’ll ever replace you.” In so many ways that Harry just might never know, “Can we stop this cheese now?” Liam breaks the sudden tightness of his throat with a shaky laugh. He hopes Harry doesn’t catch it, plays it off by nudging Harry’s thigh with his leg.

“Seriously mate, you’re the only one for me, the only one, should I sing it?”

That finally makes Harry smile and Liam likes that better.

###

“Is it hard?” Harry’s voice doesn’t pull him out of the book where Liam’s whole focus is now, but he hums, questioning what Harry’s asking.

“To hide it.”

Liam’s not sure what he means at first, so he looks up frowning, but then Harry levels his gaze with his and it lasts for a bit until Liam kind of understands. There’s only one thing he’s still hiding from everyone else except those who are close to him. Even his mum doesn’t know it, at least he never told her. Though he wouldn’t be surprised if she suspected something, because she was his mum and somehow up until now she’d guessed every single thing about him right.

“No? People don’t ask so I don’t need to talk about it.” It’s not like when they see him they immediately think that he’s not straight. It would also be sort of a really odd question to ask. People assumed, all of them, the students and even his team mates but Liam’s fine with that. He’s not sure he wants to know if they’ll perceive him differently if it ever gets out.

He’s the captain of the basketball team and that is just, a role that he might even actually lose, not that his coach would take him out of it. But Liam’s sure it would change something with his team mates. Maybe not all of them, but some of them.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t do anything to you, you’re Liam after all.” Harry adds, like he knows what Liam’s worried about. It doesn’t take Liam by surprise, not anymore.

“You mean, Liam Payne first son of the wealthiest business man, yes they wouldn’t do anything to that Liam.”

They rarely talk about this. Their social status. Because it doesn’t matter. They joke about it, but it’s not really important, for Liam Harry’s just Harry. He might not be popular, or have the same wealth that Liam’s family has and people might even question why Liam hangs around Harry—which that was a big surprise when one of the people he hung out with asked him that—but that’s none of their business. Money doesn’t matter, nor does popularity.

Liam’s not even sure why he’s got this thing to begin with. The money he understands, he can’t do anything about it. But from the first day he went for trials to get in the basketball team up until now, it seems as if him and Harry, their social circle has grown even further apart. Liam won’t deny it, he’s part of everything.

Annual events, anything that has sports involved in, every single parties that anyone throws he’s invited. Though he drags Harry with him at times, when Harry agrees to go. It is a good thing for them when Liam shows up, so they don’t actually bother to ask him why he always bring Harry with him, they just take it as it is. They better or they will actually never see him at their houses anymore.

Which is exactly what happened when one of them dared to ask Liam why he always had Harry wherever he goes.

“It could Liam Payne, the boy who was scared of heights if you want to.” Harry’s tone is light teasing even and takes Liam out of his thoughts.

“You wouldn’t, I wasn’t scared and I was only six!”

Harry just gives a shrug, leaning against his locker. Liam wonders at times—or maybe he actually knows that his mum had to do with him having a locker right in front of Harry’s. Because the first day of school she was actually kind of worried of how teenage hood would act on their friendship. A friendship that she worked hard on actually keeping when they were little, at least those were her words.

Liam did not doubt she did all she could to keep them in line when they were little. Though when they grew and started to shape themselves and make their own decisions she stepped out. So did Harry’s mum.

“And I was five, yet I still could jump.”

Liam’s pulling his tongue out before he can stop the childish act, rolling his eyes and glancing down at his book.

“I’m studying because unlike you I have a brain that needs to work hard to pass this English test.”

That has Harry laughing a little, Liam is too, but seriously he has to get a good grade on this one at least. Harry might not be popular, be in a different social circle and actually quite different from Liam, but at least he doesn’t have to die studying to get a good grade. Liam resents that sometimes—most times.

“I’ll help, Mrs. Albert’s been telling me that you got worse since the season started.”

There’s a scowl and Liam shuffling to let Harry settle next to him, releasing his hold on the book when Harry makes to take it.

“Mrs. Albert just likes to badmouth me because I ditch her class for practices sometimes.”

Harry’s shin nudging his side and Liam turns with a pout that immediately turns into a laugh because it’s silly, he’s being silly because Harry’s warm against his side and dropping his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“She loves you, she just loves me more.”

Liam almost admits to it, almost just let it slip out, _everybody loves you more,_ but then it feels to close to home so he just swallows it and listens to Harry’s voice guiding him through the book.

 

 

**ii. in your arms,**

It’s not serious. It shouldn’t be at least, but actually yes it is quite serious and Liam’s really into tis. A bit more than he should be at least, considering this is just a game. But he’s competitive, so is Niall, not like Harry. Who just plays until he loses too much and then just gives up and let Liam and Niall _do their thing,_ like he said just a few minutes ago.

Louis wants to join in, but when Louis joins in no one can actually win against him. Not because he’s the best, but because if he’s not the best, no one plays. It’s fun to watch, but not fun to experience it.

“Do something!” That’s Louis’ voice, pleading, because he doesn’t want Liam to win. Because he bet whatever it is he bet, something Liam doesn’t know because no one wants to tell him, but he bet and Liam doesn’t want to lose this game because if he does, it means Louis wins.

Louis shouldn’t win. Who knows what it is that he bet on.

But Liam doesn’t get to decide when Louis wins, Louis does and he makes it a pleasure to show just how when Liam feels something on his shoulders and then he’s startling with a small chuckle that turns into a laugh because the hands have settled against his sides. But the point is, it’s not Louis doing that, it’s Harry.

Harry’s tickling him and this is not fair, because Harry knows where to press to get Liam squirming and laughing so much he can’t pay attention to the game. Then he’s dropping the controllers aside and not even paying attention to Niall’s shriek of victory.

“Stop,” Liam’s hiccupping, too much laughing, Harry’s joining in too and even Niall who was laughing earlier is just there, looking at him. “Stop it, stop,” He chants and Harry just won’t stop, at least until Liam finally gets a hold of himself enough to get a hold of Harry’s wrist and make him stop. He’s out of breath, his cheeks hurt and they feel warm, but they’re not the only part of Liam that feel warm.

Everything else, his heart, his chest, his hands where he still has them around Harry’s skin and his eyes sparkling with a hint of a tear that’s most likely due to the tickling.

Liam sees Harry’s grin and doesn’t think twice about it before tackling him down in to the couch, “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Sorry, promised I’d let Lou win.” Harry answers, not even looking apologetic. Liam’s been betrayed, awfully so.

“That’s right! What’s the saying again? Bros before ho—mph.” Niall’s mouth covers the rest of Louis’ words but they have Harry laughing at Liam’s expression, eyes wide, cheeks flushed and displeased. Clearly displeased.

“You’re not worth it, all of you, not worth it.” Liam shakes his head, sighs and gets off the couch to just—walk away because he’s lost a game and he’s also lost to whatever it is the bet Louis made was. Harry chases after him immediately, and Liam chooses to ignore the shouted, “Finally getting a room.” He hears because that has his whole face burning, he wants some water or maybe a cold shower.

Because as he just realised, he’d been straddling Harry’s thighs like it was no big deal. Which it was. It is not a big deal, it is right? It’s been weeks since the last time he ignored Harry over this silly thing and it’s just been smooth sailing, back to normal and then this just kicks in out of nowhere. Given, this thing does actually appear at the most inopportune moment, Liam doesn’t quite like it, but learns to do with it.

“I’m sorry,” Harry’s voice breaks through his thoughts and Liam doesn’t want to turn around to see the smile in his words. First because he wants some water, second because he needs to reel his emotions in first.

“Not giving in, sorry won’t do.”

Liam thinks Harry’s given up, hopes so because he’s going to calm down first, then maybe just play it off like everyone else is. Aside from Louis who’s being a prick about it all. Maybe because Liam’s been hard on the team because of their one lost match, but that’s just normal they have to work harder if they actually lose a match after winning all the other ones. Besides their coach has also been hard on them, so why would Louis take it all out on him?

“How about a hug?”

Liam stills with the cup against his mouth and this time turns to blink at Harry.

“We’re not five anymore.”

Harry gives a shrug, “Hugs are for everyone.”

Liam hesitates. Because everything being smooth sailing was sort of a lie. He’s been trying as hard as he can to have less and less physical contact with Harry. Did that show? It probably did. He’s thinking about giving in, but it’s not a good idea so he just shakes his head, gulps down the water and lets the cup on the side, passing by Harry with a playful shove against his shoulder.

“Yeah, but it’s fine, just don’t hold it against me when I start asking Zayn to help me again.” He’s not sure why he even blurts that out. It wouldn’t happen. Not since he knows Harry doesn’t feel well about that, because Liam’s a sucker for Harry’s being well—happy so he’s not going to do anything to ruin that.

He’s startled away from all of that though because Harry’s breaking in again and Liam doesn’t know what to do for the full second it takes him to realise Harry’s arms are around him, chin on his shoulder. A familiar sort of embrace that just—it’s just normal. They used to be this way all the time, an arm around the other shoulders, or waist. Cheek to cheek when they have a movie night, hands reaching for each other without any purpose at times.

So many touches that Liam noticed when he stopped initiating them and stood stiff when Harry did.

But right now, all he’s realising is that he missed this. So the stiffness just lasts for a second and then he’s giving in, inhaling and giving in. Walking back to the living room, where he knows if they show up like this with Harry’s steps going along with Liam’s. Louis’ going to talk, now and later.

“Were you always this big of a baby?”

Harry’s laughing, and the sound of it goes straight against Liam’s skin where his mouth is way too close to, but Liam’s not going to be a baby about it. Not now. Maybe later. They’re in the living room and Niall isn’t looking up, already on another match, Liam’s grateful for that. Because it means Louis is playing too, and distracted, even if he looks up, arches an eyebrow but then quickly goes back to his game.

They fall on the couch like that, Liam and Harry, with Harry not wanting to let go. Tightening his hold even and keeping Liam against his side, tucking his face against Liam’s shoulder, breathing in. Christ, Liam can feel him breathe in.

He’s not sure what Harry’s trying to accomplish—actually no, Harry’s just being Harry. Liam’s the one who’s not himself at the moment, well not himself in a sense that he can’t do this platonically anymore. This is torture. It feels great, ridiculously so, and it feels awful at the same time because Liam’s loving it and not in the same way Harry is.

Yet, there’s just. Does he always have to refuse it? Because it’s straining on his mind and his heart and everything. So he keeps his eyes on the telly screen and just, just gives in, slumps against Harry’s side almost feeling the way his body sags in relief that he’s stopped fighting in his mind.

It’s as if even Harry notices it, even though he doesn’t mention it, but Liam feels the smiles against his skin, his own mouth is mirroring it so he’d know.

###

“It’s normal to be nervous.”

Liam knows that, Harry doesn’t need to repeat it before every matches he ever has—yet it just feels better when Harry does tell him so. Because Harry would know about that. He’s nervous about most things, but mostly about public attention when he plays or sings, which he’s done only twice, two years ago.

After that, he just stopped doing it at school and mostly only in cafés. There was a time when Harry wanted to be a singer though, Liam’s not sure if he still wants to do that. He’ll ask later, when he can. Not when his own stomach’s in knots and Harry’s looking amused because it’s not happening to him at the moment.

“Are you going to be watching?” Liam asks instead of going on the topic of being nervous, the less he thinks about it, the better it’ll get.

“Is it going to help?”

That’s new. In two years that Liam’s been in the team—joining at 14 when he could barely hold a basketball ball was a hard task—it’s the first time Harry’s considering staying. He never stays. Liam always finds him outside after the game, or after each practices. So he’s a bit taken aback, looking up at Harry like he wants to ask if everything is alright but giving a shrug.

A shrug he means to look nonchalant when he’s dying to say yes, yes it’d help. But then again Liam’s not sure, would it really help?

“It might.” Liam admits, because why not, he’s going to be honest. For once that he can without it sounding like a confession. He stands up, reaches for his bag on his bed and turns around to find Harry also up, ready to leave.

But not before reaching a hand and Liam does the same instantly, it’s just instinctive and he really can’t stop this, it’s one of the things he can’t just hold in or stop himself from doing it. Harry gives a light squeeze to his hand then tugs him closer and out of his bedroom.

He doesn’t say he’ll stay and watch, but somehow Liam knows he will tonight.

###

Liam forgets everything about being nervous, instead he’s too energetic. To the point that the whole team is also buzzing with him. It’s a funny sight to him when the match ends and they’re all jumping, laughing. There are hands in his hair, soaked with sweat and there are hands reaching for his arm, his waist, shoulders everywhere. He can swear he has a body atop of his shoulders as well.

But everything feels so good, it just feels so damn great.

More than anything though, Liam catches sight of a familiar mop of curls and then the world stills and focuses on just Harry, despite the hordes of people that are swamping in. Despite his mother also being there and grabbing for him as well when the other players finally disperse.

Liam wants to reach for Harry, before he slips away. Because it feels like he’s going to slip away. Maybe it wasn’t fun, Liam knows Harry’s not that into basketball, it’s even a wonder why Liam joined the team. It’s a reason he’s kept to himself up until now. A reason that, not surprisingly so, has to do with Harry. But it’s a decision he’ll never regret because it took a life of its own.

Became more important than he thought it would.

Harry almost slips away from his sight so Liam uses his voice, calling out and he’s not sure, maybe Harry thought he didn’t see him, maybe that’s why he was turning away with that slouch in his shoulders that Liam thinks is new. Not quite disappointment, not quite dejection something Liam can’t put a name on.

It doesn’t matter by the time he finally, finally reaches for Harry though.

He was eager, now he’s just a little awkward about how to go about it. But all it takes is one of Harry’s brightest smile, dimples deepening his cheeks and Liam knows what to do, so he does it. Gets his arms around Harry and lets out a heavy breath. He’s sweaty and he must smell but Harry doesn’t protest and returns the hug, tightly so.

When Liam pulls back still fuelled with the adrenaline of the game and the win, he realises this is almost like a scene taken out of a movie. Except that when Harry leans in he only bumps his forehead to Liam’s, his smile broadening, because this is not a movie and well even if it was, usually it’s a girl and boy isn’t it, usually. So that he even had a thought for a second that Harry was moving in to kiss him, he feels a bit embarrassed, but he’s not going to ruin this moment.

Because they won and then he’s letting that kick in again, shouting and getting another hold of Harry and picking him up off the ground with Harry doing the same, matching the volume of his voice.

Louis will tease senseless later, Niall might even join, but maybe after Liam’s got one or two beers in his system. It’ll be easier to take then. Because they’re definitely celebrating them winning the season.

###

As it turns out, none of it happens. Actually what happens later on is surprising, but also Liam’s not going to complain. Because he’s a little tipsy, close to being drunk and Harry’s in the same state, almost as well. Zayn was somewhere with them, but right now he’s pretty sure there’s just him and Harry left and Liam’s just buzzing.

Talking and he’s not even sure about what. It feels like he’s talking with Harry for the first time, and at the same time, like always, just the same way he always talks with Harry. But he can feel it, somewhere along the lines of Harry’s legs that are laid atop of his lap and Harry’s voice coming from the other side of the couch where his head is down on the arm of it.

There’s just an ease Liam might have been at fault for almost ruining here.  Then Harry’s foot bumps against his stomach, it tickles and has his muscle clenches with the brush, Liam lets out a soft laugh with it. It’s short and a little high pitched, he might be more drunk than tipsy actually.

“Remember when you tried to get Dani to be your girlfriend?”

Liam hums and nods, a hand encircling one of Harry’s ankles, so he can tug his foot away from where it’s still nudging against his stomach.

“Last time I ever wanted one.”

Another comfortable silence filled with the music that has most of the other students dancing, or talking too loud installs itself. But Harry and Liam don’t need to shout to hear what the other’s saying. Not because they’re too close, they aren’t. But because they’ve learned to recognize each other’s words, Liam knows how to distinguish the slow drag of Harry’s words amongst any other noises that could try to cover it.

“I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.” Harry’s statement sits with them but Liam’s promised himself he wouldn’t let this night be ruined. Nor by envy, or jealousy, or the pang of hurt that stills in him at the fact that he knows that. He knows Harry and this is why he doesn’t hope, hasn’t let himself hope at all.

But his hold on Harry’s ankle is being shaken, with Harry straightening and sitting up. Liam turns his head just in time to catch one of Harry’s hands reaching out to him, same gesture yet somehow he feels bitter sweet about this. He wants to give it a tighter squeeze and he doesn’t want Harry to let go immediately, like always.

“How did you know you liked boys?”

Liam’s taken aback by the question and by Harry’s hand doing what he wished earlier, lingering, and tightening his hold on Liam’s. But he’s going to put it down on Harry being a little drunk, as drunk as Liam is, if not more.

“I don’t know, I just stopped feeling anything for girls?” He’s really not sure, he gives a shrug with it. Eyes more intent on watching Harry’s fingers and the way his thumb’s rubbing against the back of Liam’s hand, soothing.

“I should have come to more of your matches.” Harry’s switching the topic, but Liam doesn’t mind, it might better this way. He doesn’t want to think about why Harry even thought of asking that question. Maybe it was just a curiosity, Harry’s curious, he asks anything he wants to ask, and he’s also distracted most of the time.

Liam’s tugging on Harry’ hand before he knows what he’s doing, pulling until Harry’s sitting so much closer Liam can smell the alcohol on him without having to take in a deep breath, “You always said it was boring.”

“It is, but you were amazing.”

It warms Liam up so good that he has to take a lick at his bottom lip, throat tight, “You’re drunk.”

“So are you.”

“A bit.”

Enough to forget his limit, enough for Liam to lean in the closer Harry is and actually push over the boundaries he’s put himself. There’s also the fact that Harry’s not pulling away, or doing anything to stop it, his eyelashes lowered as if he’s waiting for Liam to do it. Liam’s not sure, he’s not even sure of what his intentions were, but he knows where it lands him.

With his mouth firm on Harry’s, just a touch that barely lasts. Has him pulling away with a breath chuckle, “Maybe a lot.” Mumble that where his mouth’s still touching Harry’s. He’s about to pull away, tomorrow he will just put it on the alcohol so he doesn’t have to talk about it. Heat’s rushing to his face at even having done this when Harry doesn’t let him think about it for a second.

Surges forward and Liam’s small smile is knocked away, replaced with Harry’s eager mouth trying to ease Liam’s lips open, a tongue that’s warm with alcohol and burning against his bottom lip, the second it stops there before delving in. Liam’s not sure how it even changes from the soft touches of lips to lips, bare brushes of tongue to tongue, a sort of lazy kiss, maybe due to them not being entirely sober.

To something that’s a bit too warm and moist and has them bumping noses and pulling back with choked laughter. But Liam’s the one launching forward now, because he’s the one who’s waited for this. He’s not sure why it’s even happening, he’s not going to question it.

He just really wants to kiss Harry until the night ends, hopefully the night won’t end. Liam leans his weight until Harry has to fall back on the couch and take Liam’s weight atop of him, hands still held together. Liam letting it fall beside Harry’s head and reaching for the other one.

He wants to kiss Harry slow and he does it, loving the sounds Harry makes when Liam drags his mouth away for a second and how he chases after it. Liam wants to kiss his way down Harry’s throat and does it, his head’s spinning now, with the rush of having this right now and also most likely due to the alcohol. But he doesn’t care, nothing really matters but this.

Slow kisses that actually turn into little pecks until Liam’s face’s tucked against Harry’s throat and his whole weight’s pressing Harry down. Liam’s not sure when he got sleepy, but his mind’s heavy, with his mouth open in a kiss against Harr’s throat and he’s just, he wants to sleep.

He’s happy and blissed out and sleepy, so he just falls asleep.

###

 Liam wakes up feeling different, same usual headache after a hangover. But there’s something else, he’s tangled. His legs are at least and his body’s pressed against another source of warmth. Source that he looks up to see that it belongs to Harry.

His first reaction is to just smile—then panic settles in. He doesn’t have a full memory of what happened yesterday night. But there are piles of bodies everywhere, as always the next day of a party. This too, is not so unusual on a Friday night, him and Harry tangled together. But it’s different when he’s pretty sure he kissed Harry yesterday night before they fell asleep. He’s not sure how far it got, but it’s good enough to have him squirm out of Harry’s arms.

Which he regrets the second he’s kneeling by Harry’s feet and looking down at his sleeping face. He wants to crawl back into the open space where his body was seconds ago, but at the same time, this is safer. Running away is definitely safer he reasons as he calmly makes his way off the couch and looks for his things so he can actually leave before Harry wakes up.

Or worse Louis does.

As it turns out, Liam gets out before any of that happens. At least he thinks so, until he hears a voice and he startles at first.

“Harry’s not worth waking up to?”

Louis’ tone holds this amused tint to it, the one that says he saw it all happen, knows what’s going on.

“Here I thought you finally, finally confessed but this is even better Payne, you’re quite sneaky about it too.” Louis gets close enough to sling an arm around Liam.

Liam’s not in the mood to talk about it, he doesn’t want to when he’s got this hang over he wants to get rid of first. So he does this uncharacteristic thing and just shrugs Louis off his side, pushes himself away and starts down the road to get to his car.

Liam being this quiet instead of retorting to one of Louis’ quip definitely has the effect intended. He wants Louis to realise that this is actually not a joke, not anymore, never has been.

“I’ll tell you what the bet was.” Louis isn’t letting him go that easily, offering something Liam wants, in a way that Liam knows is Louis’ own way to apologise if he went too far.

“Come on, I’ll tell you on the way home.” He’s settling in the passenger seat as Liam gets in the driver one. He doesn’t even have his driver license, this is dangerous enough as it is but it’s one of the things that his mum actually said she didn’t mind using their connections to not get him in jail if he ever got caught.

So Liam and Harry could have their own fun whenever they wanted. It was a gift for finally getting _through whatever crisis you had while Harry was having fun with his new girl._ Her exact words, she couldn’t have been closer to the truth even though Liam was sure she just said it because of the coincidence. It’s still a bit weird that she knew of Harry’s girl even though Liam never talked about it ever.

But she’s friend with Harry’s mum, so it could be the source of it.

“We won’t talk about it.” Liam tells Louis as they drive down the road to get to his neighbourhood and he knows Louis knows what he’s referring to.

Louis lifts his hands up and shakes his head, “Promise.”

Liam’s not even sure he really wants to know what the bet was about, but he appreciates Louis’ presence right now because it means Louis fills the silence with his voice and Liam doesn’t have to think at all.

Just let it carry him away from prying thoughts and join in the conversation whenever he has to. Or when he finds out what the bet was and he has to somehow stop himself from looking at Louis eyes wide and keep his eyes on the road.

 

 

**iii. in your heart.**

They never talk about it. The thing is Liam wouldn’t have to think about it if it happened that night, was never talked of, but then it stopped happening. But they’re two weeks away from the end of the year and it hasn’t stopped.

Meaning, at times Harry comes by Liam’s house and he’s more physically attached to Liam than he was before. In a sense that, Harry didn’t usually lean in until his mouth pressed to the side of Liam’s neck, kissing, definitely so, that has to be a kiss, but he does now. In a sense that, at times when they’re alone and Liam’s waiting for Harry to finish a graffiti that he shouldn’t even let Harry draw on the side of the wall, Harry will come back with a grin, spray him and then kiss the scowl off Liam’s face.

It’s just so easy to just not talk about it too.

Liam thought that it would be awkward after that drunk snogging session, but it’s not and he’s not sure what this is doing to him but it’s doing things to him that he absolutely cannot not acknowledge anymore. But what’s worse is, he doesn’t know what’s going through Harry’s mind at all. He doesn’t want to ask though, especially not wen Harry kisses him like he wants to drink him in and Liam’s not sure what to do with his hands.

He wants to touch, but they just stand there, until he presses them down in the mattress at either side of Harry’s head and he has to pull back to breathe because it’s all a bit too much and not at the same time. Plus, Harry’s taking it this far. Harry’s not this way and Liam has to take a break, he shouldn’t be doing this talking about it, but he has to put a bit of distance because he’s been dreaming about this and it’s happening and it’s not a dream.

He can’t quite catch the logic where it was never going to happen and it happening right now. Liam sits down, straddling Harry and watching him lean on his elbows and lifting himself up, eyebrows furrowed the way he does when he’s not sure what’s happening. Liam’s the one who should be doing that right now.

Liam’s opening his mouth, ready to ask, _what are we doing?_ But Harry’s hands settles on his thighs, giving a light squeeze and the words get swallowed, instead there’s this slow smile that etches itself on his mouth and all he finds himself letting out is a quite tame, “Hey.”

Harry visibly relaxes at that though, his hands sliding further up, as if it was a cue for him to do as he pleases. Liam’s not complaining but he doesn’t want to go further until he knows what this is. So before Harry takes it further he has his own fingers wrap around Harry’s wrist, stopping him where he’s edging against the inside of Liam’s thigh, muscles clenching where Harry’s hands are warm, where Harry’s eyes are staring at what must be a bulge.

Because Liam’s hard, he is, hell he’s been since Harry started kissing him and distracting him from everything else that just literally does not matter when Harry’s mouth is soft and willingly pressing itself against Liam’s. Absolutely nothing.

“What are we doing?”

Harry isn’t looking up at him, keeping his eyes where they were and it’s making Liam nervous by the minute the silence stretches.

“Well,” Harry starts then, turning his wrist around, sliding his palms so it’s right against Liam’s, holding onto his hands and immediately pulling him back in the position he was before he decided to think about this. Liam suddenly doesn’t want to talk about it, not when Harry’s body slides down and it rubs right against him, and Harry’s hard too, he feels it and Liam has to close his eyes reel in the urge to just say the hell with it.

“I was getting to maybe having my hand on your dick but,” He gives a shrug and Liam lets out this noise that’s stuck between a bewildered laugh and a groan because Harry’s just being so easy about this. Like he’s done this before and Liam’s the virgin here. Which he isn’t, Harry isn’t as well. But he feels it all a bit too much as if it is a first. It is, in a sense. Or maybe it’s because it is Harry’s and he’s warm where Liam’s other partners weren’t and Liam knew what to expect with the others, not with Harry.

“Harry.” Liam pulls away again, not too far, just so he can look down at Harry and try to understand. Harry uses that to just return to where he stopped though, tongue flicking against Liam’s bottom lip and Liam, he’s already used to this. Letting his lips fall open and Harry gives this satisfied smile, like he’s happy about that instant reaction it got out of Liam and closing his mouth right where Liam’s trying to talk his way out of it again.

So they end up not talking about it again and Harry does get his hand on Liam’s dick, as he wished. Liam returns the favour, somehow, he’s not even sure how, but he knows it involves lots of heavy breathing, mouths open and forehead pressed against each other’s, eyes closed at times or open and staring at what it’s doing to Harry.

Liam watches Harry come apart and he’s not sure he’ll be able to stop whatever this is, he was far gone before this, now he’s just too deep in. He won’t be able to let go knowing Harry can make that face and will make that face with someone else being the cause of it. It makes him lean in and catch the noises Harry’s making, suck them right out of his mouth until Harry’s kissing back and turning it slower, softer somehow.

His hand finding its way in Liam’s hair, the one that wasn’t wrapped around the length of Liam, fingers threading through his locks that Liam’s been cutting since the beginning of this year. 

Liam gives up on keeping his weight off Harry’s body but then pulls a face when he realises he just literally fell in the sticky mess left on Harry’s clothes. “You’ll need a shower.” He states, looking down at what’s been done.

“So will you.” Harry replies, still not done with putting his mouth against anything he can find, the corner of Liam’s mouth, his cheek, the tip of his nose when Liam turns to face him. It feels like Harry wants to fill himself with Liam, or maybe just can’t get enough and Liam’s hit with this heat that settles in his chest, hits him right in his stomach and slides up to his neck.

He stands up right off the bed, so quick that he stumbles and falls, the pain in his rear making him wince and look down at his trousers around his ankles. He hears Harry laughing, but can’t bring himself to feel embarrassed about this, if anything he feels silly enough to join in the laughter. Silly, but happy, it’s ridiculous.

Harry’s doing this to him, for whatever reason. Liam looks up at where Harry’s leaning over the edge and showing those dimples that have probably been the death of a dozen of girls out there, or boys too—Liam can testify—and he just hopes that this doesn’t end badly, he hopes this doesn’t end at all.

###

“You know,”

The way Louis starts has Liam thinking that no, actually he doesn’t want to know and he probably does but Louis is going to tell him anyway. There’s no way to fight it off, so he bounces the ball instead, passing his way across Louis’ body who’s too busy trying to talk to Liam to even try to stop him.

“I was all for you guys being all grossly adorable together, but I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

Liam puts the ball in and catches it as it falls out of the basket, he’s not sure it’s a good idea to talk about this.

“Are you sure Harry agreed on that bet?” He asks instead of even bothering to talk about what Louis just brought up.

“Nice change of topic, you’re getting good at this and yes he did, he definitely did, I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m very much a liar but not when it comes to the matter of the heart.”

Liam’s rolling his eyes, letting the ball go when Louis falls next to him and reaches out for it.

“You did end up kissing, so all’s good long as I won.” Louis gives a shrug, shifting the ball back and forth between his hands, “But the other stuff, that’s just, you might want to talk about it, with each other that is. I’ve heard enough on the matter to know you’re both screwed.”

“We’re not,” Liam protests, but it dies quickly in a sigh, “I don’t think Harry is.”

“More of a reason to talk about it and make sure he is. You’re always so hard on yourself.” Louis pushing the ball against Liam’s side, “Think of it this way, I am a good friend of yours, but I don’t think of kissing you, let alone touching your dick, that’s just gross. But Harry does it and he’s never touched a dick in his life. I can assure you of it.”

For some reason Liam’s ready to believe Louis on that, he’s ready to believe Louis on anything but Harry having feelings for him and that’s seriously the stupidest logic. Louis is right, Liam’s pretty stupid when it comes to figuring these things out.

“I could do it for you.”

Liam’s head snaps to stare at Louis, already voicing out a negation to that statement. Louis is the one who started this whole mess. Liam’s sure that if he’d stuck to just not talking to Harry, things would have been worse in a much different way. Who knows maybe he would have been over Harry if he kept his distance instead of falling back into their patterns when Louis texted Harry to their practice months ago.

“But I won’t, I have another question though.”

Liam arches an eyebrow instead of answering catching the ball Louis throws at him in the process, “Are you coming to prom together or not? The whole school’s been wondering, not just me, trust me you’re very bad at this hiding thing. It was easier with Zayn because Zayn keeps to himself but you and Harry were already rising rumours and now you’re even more gross than you were,” Louis pulls a face, standing up and deciding it’s the end of the game for him.

“Just ask him out already, properly, you’re being a pain with this whole thing.”  

He’s not just being a pain about it, Liam things. He’s also actually in pain when he thinks about how out of proportion this whole thing has gotten. He should confess, before it’s too late. OR at least make sure Harry knows Liam’s taking advantage of it, whatever it is that Harry’s going through. Some sexual identity crisis, they can talk about it, instead of physically getting through it.

Because the physical thing, it’s past it for Liam. Liam was already in the emotional bit before it got physical and he should make it clear actually.

###

He’s sitting right next to Harry in English class, which is the only one they have together, also the only one where Liam needs help most of the times. Liam’s pretty sure it’s also the only class Harry ever shows up, because Liam’s in it. Liam did not invent that in his mind, not at all, Harry told him so one day and that’s been a pretty warming thing until now.

Liam’s fidgeting, he has to talk with Harry and he decided it was today. They would talk today, before his stupid mouth got him in troubles and blurted out three little words that have been dying to slip past his mouth ever since the first time he kissed Harry.

It’s so tempting at times to press them against every square inch of Harry’s skin that his mouth could find. He wants to see it flush with the words and Liam’s mouth too, the same way Harry’s mouth does to Liam’s body.

He’s drifting away from Mrs. Albert’s voice before he can stop himself, in a dangerous zone that’s filled with Harry’s fingers, hands, and the way his hair fills in Liam’s palm and leaves no place to grab for anything. Thick and so full, it weights almost as much as Harry’s place in his heart does.

He’s so caught up in thinking about how he feels about this that he startles when a piece of paper falls on his table, right on his open notebook. Liam blinks down at the piece of paper, but his eyes skims right past it and down to what his fingers were writing whilst he was distracted.

When he catches sight of Harry’s name all across his page, he decides, resolute, that they’ll talk today. Then he grabs the piece of paper, surely courtesy of Harry and unfolds it.

Liam doesn’t know how Harry does it, finding the right timing. He’s seriously thinking about betting anything that Harry can read his mind, or mood or anything that tells him exactly words for words what’s on Liam’s mind. He reads the note and eyes Harry, catching only his side profile, but not missing the curving line of his mouth around a smile, Liam’s sure it’s a smile.

Liam’s eyes go back to the note, a small smile of his own even though they don’t say much, just what’s been on his mind.

_Let’s talk today, at mine._

###

Liam hasn’t been at Harry’s in a while, but he’s always glad when he steps by the front door and Harry’s mum is there, welcoming him with two big kisses on his cheeks as a tradition of sort. It always feels like it’s the first time, when he was holding a basket full of cupcakes his mother made so he could bring it for his first time coming over at a new friend’s house.

She even made him look proper, hair slick and pushed back, an embarrassing moment that unfortunately was captured on camera and put away in the treasure box. A treasure box that was also the beginning of them, of all of this. A treasure box that was supposed to belong only to Liam, a birthday gift and yet that ended up forging his relationship with Harry and being theirs.

They sometimes burry it in Harry’s backyard, or Liam’s, depending on who takes it home. The system being that when they add something to it, it has to be moved to another backyard. Liam can’t remember the last time they added something to it though, because it’s been with Harry for close to a year at least, he’s not sure of that either.

Harry pulls him upstairs before his sister can also hog Liam’s attention shouting that they’ll pamper him all they want later on but they’re going to be alone for a while. A statement that has Liam laughing but following along, shrugging when Gemma peeks in through the kitchen’s doorway and arches questioning eyebrows at him.

###

The first thing Liam sees is the treasure box sitting on Harry’s bed, open and empty and piece of papers spread all over his sheet.

“Heeey, look at this.” Liam says as he reaches and grabs something, a picture. It’s a picture of him and Harry sharing a bed, something that Harry’s mum took secretly, they must have been around five years old, still in the early stage of getting closer but already inseparable. It was also a picture that made Harry’s mum join in the club with Liam’s mother to make their sons become the best of friends.

But what started it all is laid right next to the box, a piece of paper with their mothers’ handwriting that says that Harry and Liam wish that they will be the best friends ever. It’s so sweet and the memories that it brings has Liam sitting down on the carpet and reaching for the rest of it, he doesn’t even move or stop the smiling widening on his face when Harry settles next to him and joins in the hunt of souvenirs.

“Did I really write this?” Liam’s holding a piece of paper that he can’t even read, the writing’s just a messy try and fail at writing Harry’s name, he’s not even sure he succeeded. The S looks more like a two than an S and he’s laughing. But then Harry’s holding up his own and joining in and Liam feels less bad because Harry’s just a bunch of nonsense as well, worse even.

“Looks school’s important after all.” Liam laughs at that, turning to finally take a look at Harry, who looks up at the same time.

“You said,” Liam waves the picture in his hand with no real purpose, “We had to talk.”

He doesn’t want to ruin it yet, but if he’s going to have his heart broken, if this is going to stomp on all the hopes he’s been building over the few weeks, then Liam wants it to be done and over with soon. He wants Harry to get straight to the point, not reach for his hand and take the picture out of it and then just let his fingers linger on Liam’s hand, pulling until Liam gives in and does it and lets Harry’s fingers thread through his.

“It’s not just for fun.” Harry says then and Liam, all Liam can do is frown a little confusedly.

“What?” Ask that, shaking his head to show he doesn’t understand.

“This, it’s not just for fun.” Harry repeats, like saying it twice will make Liam understands. It fails, a bit, because he’s catching on but he needs Harry to explain a bit more. Liam’s frown doesn’t go away, but softens a little and he’s smiling, he doesn’t know why but he is.

“Okay.” Is all he can say, he feels a bit stupid with it but Harry’s not pulling away so maybe he’s doing alright.

“I don’t want to be friends.”

“What?” Liam’s aware he interrupted but it’s just, it might be going a different way than he thought it was.

“I mean, just friends, not just friends anymore.” And that, that, Liam just doesn’t know what to say to it so his mouth hangs open before closing and he’s swallowing, looking down at where Harry’s still playing with his fingers.

Is he hearing it right? He’s not sure. Because this will mean Louis was right, again, the fact that this is what registers has him almost laughing.

“So can we do this?”

Liam’s not sure why Harry’s the one asking. Liam’s the one who’s deeper into this than Harry is, at least up until this moment he could have sworn he still was. Harry’s shaken that, because Harry’s asking him to actually be more than what they were.

All Liam can say to that, because it dawns on him and it’s a realisation that has him tightening his hold on Harry’s hand, it’s that, “We’ve been doing this for a while now.”

It’s true, and he’s stupid for not having realised it. But he might have, actually, he might have. It’s just, he couldn’t let himself notice it or even linger on it, or even let it grow to the point that this hope filled him with even more than he already felt for Harry. Harry’s gone and just literally shattered all the walls Liam put up to stop himself from thinking further than where he put his limit.

Liam is a little breathless by the reality of it, of Harry wanting the same thing as he does.

“Took you long enough.”

Liam can’t help but snicker, because no, it didn’t. Harry’s the one who took too long, but then again, is that true? He looks up at Harry, eyebrows pulled together again, not sure what to do with Harry’s teasing grin, and he’s not even sure how long Harry’s been wearing this expression while looking at Liam. The one that always has Liam feeling like the world could be his long as Harry kept looking at him like that.

The one he keeps his mind in every games and he failed to even notice that it mirrors his at times, because he’s been stuck in this world of his own where Harry couldn’t be thinking the same thing as Liam. Something quite impossible that has him feeling elated and stupid at the same time.

“So,”

“Yeah,” Harry doesn’t let him finish and lets go of his hand, standing up and walking to his desktop.

“You could have said something!” Liam follows Harry’s back with his eyes, “That could have avoided me years of pining.”

“I tried.” Harry turns with a piece of paper and a frown on his face, “You’re hard to get through when you’re set on an idea.”

Liam remembers Harry telling him that he shuts down and shuts everything out and he flushes with embarrassment, he sort of understands what Harry meant now, it all kind of make sense. Louis butting in anyway, and the bet that Harry could get Liam to kiss him before the end of the year. It all makes so much sense, Liam’s been the idiot here all this time.

He’s not sure what to do with that, so he accepts the piece of paper Harry hands him instead.

“Let’s make new vows.” Harry explains waving his own piece of paper and sitting back down next to Liam.

“Like what?”

“To always say what we have on our hearts, even if we’re scared of what will come out of it.”

They do, they write it down and then fold it and put it in the treasure box before putting everything else that Harry took inside and closing it. This means Liam has to leave with it tonight, but before that Harry tugs him down on the bed and presses his mouth down on Liam as if to seal the new promise, ones that they definitely made knowing where it’s going to take him and Liam’s feeling more certain.

Certain enough to not stop himself when his mouth parts against Harry’s ear and he’s stumbling the words out, “Love you.”

He used to think they’d be heavy once they were out, would make the silence thick with tension but Harry’s laughing and mumbling them right back against his skin. Liam’s mouth feels warm where they’re smiling against Harry’s cheeks, because Harry’s skin is warming with what Liam’s sure is a flush that’s spread across his face.

Liam’s not sure how it turns from that sweet moment, it’s definitely sweet, to Harry’s mouthing down his throat, “Want to blow you.”

But he’s not going to complain, it spreads a heat down his groin and has him squirming with Harry’s weight atop of him trapping him effectively on the mattress with no way to break free.

###

Liam doesn’t even hesitate to agree when Harry proposes they do their own thing, prom isn’t that big of a deal, to them at least. So they go to the basketball court where Liam threw his first ball with Harry playing with him and also what led Liam to actually signing up the next week at school. Because he wanted to see that expression on Harry’s face again, the one he wore when Liam made his first basket.

He says it while they’re deciding on a match and he vaguely hears Louis making a sound at that. Liam laughs, he forgot they weren’t alone and he just laughs at it because Harry is too, but then ducking his head.

“Sorry, didn’t know.” Harry says later on

“It’s alright.” Liam shrugs, lets Harry kiss him after saying so, smiling against his mouth at Niall catcall whistle and more of Louis whining, “You’ll have plenty time to redeem yourself starting now.” He mumbles, mouth lingering on Harry’s before tugging on the jersey that Harry’s wearing. One that belongs to Liam.

**fin.**


End file.
